The Writing On The Wall

So I am afraid.

I say it again....

I AM AFRAID.

I am afraid of my past mistakes. Though they were mistakes from the past, they haunt me like recurring nightmares.

I am afraid of trusting. Their have been those I trusted who in turn showed me trust isn't something you just give.

I am afraid of falling. Once upon a time I fell for a man. He took everything I had and left me with nothing. He took my pride and gave me shame. He took my joy and gave me pain.

I am afraid of life changing accidents. Laying in a bed not knowing who I am. Going from being independent to being dependent.

I am afraid of dying an old maid. I too want to say I do one day. Have that house in a nice community. A wonderful husband who teaches me the meaning of love. A healthy little girl that has her mother's eyes and her father's smile. Healthy little boys that love their mama so.

I am afraid of my fears. To fear so much is to fail in the biggest way possible. My fears are my weaknesses and not my strenght. My fears are my fears.

My fears are my curse.

~Yang

Lightbulb to the head.

*After a series of revelations...

Ying: hmm..so now you have a story, that qualifies you for a space on blogsville

Yang: That reminds me, I need to shut down my blog.

Ying: Huhn? You have a blog and you've been hiding it all this while?

Yang: It's not serious oh...got tired of it.

Ying: Hiss!!! Sure!!!

Ying: But you should keep it, it's a good avenue for escapism. You know! Helps one get away from reality, I think! (I thought if I pushed a little harder I'll succeed in convincing her, and be privy to GIST!!!)

Yang: You think? Wait! You have a blog?

Ying: Maybe, maybe not (I am truly a *insert month of year* baby, mystery is my forte...see?)

Yang: hmm.....

*pause* At this point I imagine a Lightbulb going off in Ying's head. Serious one oh!

Yang: You know what? Let's do a blog together

Ying: hmm!!! (doesn't take much for me to get in on a great idea, so I get to thinking)

Yang: What shall we call it?

lightanddarktwopeasinapodstrengthin numbers (LMAO!) togethernesstwobecomeone....

then...ding! ding!! ding!!!

Ying Yang!!!

Yang: ooooohhhh!!! Hotness (signature word)

Ying: Yes! Two different perspectives

Yang: Uh huhn!

Ying: Two different geo. areas

Yang: Uh huhn!

Ying: uhmm (haha!!! that's how quickly I ran out of two's...)

...and even quicker this blog was formed.

Hi, I am Ying and you'll be listening (not literally, lol) to the voices in our heads!!!

The Yang 2 The Ying

Wednesday morning and I can't find anything productive to do at work. I honestly should change that can't to won't because to my left I have stacks of to be done, to my right are the to be filed, and even glancing on the floor more work to be touched.

I hate my job. If I could quit today and still get a pay check I would, but life doesn't work that way. Maybe I need to invest in a Sugar Daddy or something...maybe. Or better yet find a new job.

I have been working at this place for a year and some change now. I can remember when I first got the position. I was so excited, Yang had hit'd the jackpot. NOT! I was soon to realized I was lied to.

Why am I still here? They pay nicely, I can study, and so everything I am not to be paid for.

Anyway let me go find something "productive" to do.

~Yang

p.s. Let's see what Blogville brings