The Writing On The Wall

So I am afraid.

I say it again....

I AM AFRAID.

I am afraid of my past mistakes. Though they were mistakes from the past, they haunt me like recurring nightmares.

I am afraid of trusting. Their have been those I trusted who in turn showed me trust isn't something you just give.

I am afraid of falling. Once upon a time I fell for a man. He took everything I had and left me with nothing. He took my pride and gave me shame. He took my joy and gave me pain.

I am afraid of life changing accidents. Laying in a bed not knowing who I am. Going from being independent to being dependent.

I am afraid of dying an old maid. I too want to say I do one day. Have that house in a nice community. A wonderful husband who teaches me the meaning of love. A healthy little girl that has her mother's eyes and her father's smile. Healthy little boys that love their mama so.

I am afraid of my fears. To fear so much is to fail in the biggest way possible. My fears are my weaknesses and not my strenght. My fears are my fears.

My fears are my curse.

~Yang